Today marks just shy of three months since I embarked on a journey to foreign lands and began my four month’s abroad. I was dropped off on Spanish soil, introduced to my host mom, shown to my room, and several days later, started school at La Universidad de Salamanca. There are no lack of adjectives to describe my emotions during those first few weeks. I was ecstatic to finally be here- in Spain- after months of anticipation, planning, and purchases. I was petrified at the prospect of making an unknown country “home” and finding family in a host mom I had never met. Despite the uncertainty, I was hopeful. I knew long ago that this opportunity was meant for me and that going abroad was apart of my path.
I vividly recall my first steps on Spanish soil. My group and I had spent 8 hours on a flight from Chicago to Madrid and later, two hours on a bus to Salamanca. We were functioning with little sleep and limitless excitement. One by one our host moms arrived and took us all in different directions, ripping us from the only familiar thing remaining. My host mom arrived, gave me two kisses on the cheek, and we began walking in the direction of the house I would soon learn to call “home”.
The first month was spent adjusting to the Spanish schedule, learning my way around the city, and gaining confidence in *attempting* to speak fluently. Most of these early days abroad blur together however, one in particular stands out in my memory.
Finding Contentment:
I had just finished a day of classes (a “day of classes” here consists of school from 9 am to 1 pm). With two hours before my host mom returned to prepare lunch, I decided to stop at an outdoor coffee shop for a midday pick-me-up. I gazed at the scene in front of me: a park full of young children playing in the fountain, a couple feeding the ducks, and several groups enjoying tapas at nearby tables.
There I sat in Salamanca, Spain at a cafe with next to no worries. I had no major commitments to run off to nor a massive to-do list that needed attention.
I felt content.
My heart completely at peace, my mind still.
“When was the last time you felt this way?”, I thought.
Too long to remember.
That day at the coffee shop, I was reminded of the importance of intentionality. Since then, I’ve made a conscious effort to pause and acknowledge the stillness that each day brings. Sometimes, it is for only a minute or two however, with each act of intention, a habit takes form. Oftentimes, the pause looks like a local coffee shop with my favorite book and a cappuccino. Other times, it consists of simply taking ten minutes to write 5 things for which I am grateful. In these moments when I press “pause” on my daily routine, I separate myself from all the noise. I give myself permission to focus on nothing else but that which makes my heart happy.
Maintaining Contentment:
We all have activities that breathe life into our spirit. It may be working out, listening to a podcast, coloring, or going for a walk. Perhaps there is nothing greater than making time to watch your favorite cooking show. Whatever it is, once you identify these things, it is imperative that you carve out time each week to do them.
Will it be convenient? No. You have to fight in order to create the quiet moments. You have to say “no” to other things in order to say “yes” to yourself. You have to decide that you are a priority in your life. No guilt, no apologies. You are worth it.
This practice was one I often omitted from my routine, reasoning that there were other more pressing items on my to-do list. This thought process is dangerous and continually deferring to it will cause your cup to run dry. The practice of self-care is essential for staying level-headed and our most productive selves. There is a time for work and a time for play; a time for friends and a time for self; a time for conversation and a time for silence. Look at your life and see where you stand in these areas. Are you attending more to one area than the other? Which one do you consistently find yourself pushing off for later? Why?
When Chaos Triumphs:
When I got to college, I allowed the natural hustle and bustle of university life to steal my sanity. I succumbed to the mentality that I must stuff my day with meetings, class, work, and clubs. As a result, I developed an anxious personality because of my need to keep “busy”. When I wasn’t doing homework, I felt like I should be studying. When I wasn’t studying, I was sure that I had unanswered emails. When I wasn’t responding to emails, I was scheduling coffee dates with friends that needed a listening ear. I had fallen into the mindset that busy equaled productive. Very often, when I sat down to do homework, I would spend half the time scrolling through Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. Five hours later, I would deem the time spent a “job well done” for completing two pages of calculus.
Sister, please hear me.
Busy does not mean productive. A long to-do list does not equate to importance.
You are the most important item on your to-do list. You are your biggest priority. Do not allow the constant pulls of life to convince you otherwise.
I realize how easy it is for our vision to become tainted when deadlines present themselves and we are pulled in every direction. In seconds, we can be thrown off our axis. The decision to be a priority must be made daily and treated like a promise that cannot be broken.
As much as we fight against intentionally setting aside time for ourselves, afterwards, we always feel rejuvenated. Our cup is full and we can now revisit our to-do list with renewed eyes and a clear head space.
Practice Contentment Today.
I challenge you to look at the week ahead. Check your planner and designate time to fill your cup. Go ahead- I’ll wait- find some space to write it down in a place you look daily.
Will you be tired? Probably. Will that project really need more of your time? It’s likely. Did your friend ask you to grab drinks after work? Too bad. You have a commitment. Think about when you have a meeting; if you’re tired or in the middle of something, do you blow off the meeting? Never. The same must go for the time you set aside for yourself.
Your future self will thank you.
-Ally