This weekend, I was walking my dogs through a nearby park, gazing admiringly at the clear blue sky while cherishing the sound of birds chirping. Among the tranquility, I found myself reflecting on the past six months. They have consisted of the most enriching experiences of my life and resulted in immense personal growth.
I believe reflection is a key component to a person’s overall success. If we move too quickly, we often overlook important growth opportunities. As we approach the end of the first quarter in 2019, the use of reflection can be highly influential in recentering our focus for the remaining portion of the year.
Below are the four lessons I’ve learned since the start of 2019.
1. You teach people how to treat you.
It is only four months into 2019 and this has been the biggest takeaway from the year thus far. You teach people how they should treat you.
When he lied about who he was with and said they’re “just friends”. When she blew you off despite previously confirming plans. When they blasted you over text message but wouldn’t confront you face-to-face. For every time you didn’t object– didn’t speak up against the mistreatment– you subsequently placed your stamp of approval on the behavior.
What you allow is what will continue. What you allow is a direct reflection of the value you place on yourself and your self worth. If you want exceptional relationships, you have to maintain exceptionally strict standards. There is something to be said about second chances; there is also something to be said about self-respect. Be diligent when determining the intention behind someone’s apology. There is a distinct difference between a sincere and disingenuous “I’m sorry”.
2. Step outside the circle you’ve drawn around yourself.
This world is a big place. Consciously, we know this but how often do we take the time to explore? Be a tourist in your own city. Walk a different way to class. Look up at the sky instead of down at the pavement. Do something that wakes you up from the mundane and mediocre.
I had the good fortune of studying abroad during the fall semester of my Senior year of college. It was life-changing. In my 22 years of living, there is not one single decision which rivals that of studying abroad. The experience transformed the way I see the world and the direction for my future. I gained perspective and clarity for the life I want to live– clarity that I would have never otherwise uncovered.
Perhaps a semester abroad is out of the question for you. Regardless, find a way to expand your worldview. This may consist of volunteering at the local senior center, offering your time to children and families who are learning English, or by joining the Engagement Committee at work. There is a world awaiting your discovery; you need only open your eyes.
“The world is so much bigger than the box we were raised in.
3. Be careful to whom you hand your heart.
This spans from friendships to romantic relationships. When you give someone your heart, you offer them a key into your most vulnerable places. You grant them admission (free of charge) and they make themselves comfortable. Entrance into your soul– the part that makes you uniquely you– is sacred and should be authorized only for select individuals.
Why? Because mistreatment can be catastrophic. Those that do not value you or understand your heart may abuse the privilege of getting close to it. And to repair such tender wounds is not only painful, it is time-consuming. Like any broken thing, you will never function the same once repaired. Sometimes, this is for the better as you’ve taken the broken pieces and used them as a foundation to rebuild your life. Other times, we succumb to the pain and struggle to find ourselves amongst the shattered pieces. The narrative you live out is, in fact, up to you.
4. You should start now.
Six months ago, none of this existed. Daily Dose of Goodness was just a hashtag I favored on my Instagram photos. There was no WordPress blog or Facebook page. No one followed my writing because there was nothing to read.
If you have a dream, something that has been stirring in your spirit, I beg you to give it a voice; provide it a platform to grow and let it take root. Dare to live boldly. Who cares if they question you? So what if you totally suck in the beginning (spoiler alert: you will). For the love, just do it. There is absolutely 0% chance that you will get any better if you never start at all. Once you’ve started, no matter how atrocious it appears, you’ll have taken the first– and often, most difficult– step. Every stride forward from here on out will feel slightly more natural. There is a calling on your life, a purpose greater than your current self, that is begging for your attention.
Time is your currency. Use it wisely.