For those that have spent time with me , you know the role that positivity plays in my life. Perhaps we’ve sipped coffee at a local cafe or shared our hearts over a bottle of wine. It is the cornerstone of my day and the central focus of everything that I do. I have found so much power in choosing to believe that a good day is upon me. When you believe that it is going to be a good day, you show up differently. You have energy to be the protagonist in your life. You choose to be an active contributor in the places you go and the people you spend time with. At your core, you live with the belief that life is happening for you rather than to you.
After several times of meeting someone new, I am often asked:
How are you so happy all the time?
The short response is I’m not. But I want to be. The want to be is key here. I have total control over my attitude towards the circumstances that confront me everyday. In contrast, I have accepted that I have exactly zero control over the actions of others. This shift in perspective has been foundational for me to live in a state of constant gratitude.
The following are several practices I have adopted and strive to live out everyday. By no means is this a comprehensive list and frankly, there is no validity to their effectiveness except in my own life. I am sharing what works for me in hopes that it will encourage others to find what works for them. As always, I write because I have a lot of words stirring in my heart. And if these words can help someone- just one person- through the season of life that they are in, I couldn’t be happier.
1. A Morning Routine
I never had a morning routine beyond getting out of bed after several snooze sessions, turning on the coffee pot, and jumping in the shower. However, over the last 6 months, I’ve committed to being more intentional when starting my day. It has been the difference between a good and great morning.
Each morning, I spend between 15 and 25 minutes starting my day the same way I have every other morning for the past 6 months. I wake up as close to my first alarm as possible, grab the journal on my bedside table, and make a list of three things I’m grateful for, one thing I am looking forward to that day, and three things that must be completed before my head hits the pillow that night in order to feel accomplished. [ this morning routine is courtesy of Rachel Hollis and her Start Today Journal ]. When you use the first minutes of your day to put yourself in the driver’s seat, it creates a precedent for the hours to come.
It is worth saying that some days, it is an all out battle between my mind and body to get out of bed. Somedays, I’m waking up after getting only 4 hours of sleep, with assignments that didn’t get submitted, and a coffee tin that appeared empty when I went to open it. Somedays, life feels to be working against me at an ultra high speed.
Don’t let this shake you out of your routine. It is going to be hard. Always. You will never want to wake up at the sound of your first alarm. Your body will absolutely feel tired and you will suddenly find many reasons why more sleep feels like a necessity. Quiet the noise; sit up in your bed; look towards your bedside table. You know what to do.
2. Gratitude
I recently stumbled upon a quote about worry that truly struck me as profound.
“If you stress too much about something before it happens, you basically put yourself through it twice”.
I was never able to find who the quote was by but they were certainly onto something. We accomplish nothing by worrying. We are no more productive by entertaining stress.
I do not believe that you can be anxious and grateful at the same time. Have you ever thought about that? Next time you’re feeling anxiety, pause and rattle off a list of things you are grateful for and observe what happens. Try to stay away from the broad concepts like family, a roof over your head, etc.. These are absolutely important and things many people around the world are currently living without. However, I have found that the smaller, less acknowledged parts of our day are what will shift the focus back to a gratitude mindset quickest.
In addition, I genuinely believe that great, wonderful, and exciting things are going to happen. I think a major reason why I have such a zest for life is because I wake up expecting that good things are on their way. I have no idea what form they will come in- perhaps by having a highly productive day at work, getting out of class 30 minutes early, or simply having a spectacular cup of coffee- whatever the reason may be, I am committed to seeking out the goodness in my day.
Looking for reasons to be grateful requires intentionality and consistency but its effects on your quality of life can be enormous.
3. You Choose
If I had to condense this list down to one single bullet point, this would be it. The key to having a joyful day is by choosing to do so. It sounds so painfully simple that I hesitate to even write those words down. Yet as simple as they appear, we all struggle with the decision.
Every single day I make a conscious effort to choose positivity over worry. Allow me to make a very important distinction: I choose optimism not to be naive about life’s hardships or pretend that they do not exist. I choose a positive perspective because if I must face hard things (as we all do), I would rather be in offense rather than defense mode. I would rather fill myself up with words of encouragement, inspiration, and bravery ahead of time so that when a difficult day hits or I have an exceptionally stressful week, those are the things that spill out of me- those are the words I default to- rather than worry and anxiety.
Positivity, optimism, joy, happiness, gratitude, enthusiasm- whatever you call it- it is a choice. And you must choose it every single day. That is the most powerful point I can make. You must be intentional with your thoughts, words, and actions if you want to have anything above average for your life.
There you have it. Those are the three practices that have turned my days from good to great; from average to exceptional; from accidental to intentional. Whether one or none of the above points resignated with you, I believe that it is important for everyone to develop a habit that helps center their thoughts around the good.
Life has a tendency to feel mundane when we get into a routine for too long. It is easy to feel like you’ve fallen into a rut. Every single human has felt some form of emptiness in their life. Starting my morning off intentionally, being grateful, and choosing happiness are the ways in which I combat the natural tendencies of life.
You are only as amazing as you let yourself be.