Several months ago, I wrote a blog that became quite controversial among my Christian counterparts. Specifically, I observed a handful of commenters proclaim their disapproval of my allyship with the LGBTQ+ community in the church. The disdain came as no surprise to me. Being a Christian that openly accepts AND affirms (the former without the latter is useless in my opinion – more on this in a minute) the LGBTQ+ community is common knowledge among anyone who knows me. However, the degree of hatred in some comments was slightly shocking. Remarks like “What happened to you? You used to be such a good Christian girl?”, “You’re going to hell for this”, and “The devil is inside her” cycled through the comment section. For the record, I would like to clarify that the devil is not, in fact, inside me. Perhaps this confirmation will soothe any lingering concerns.
Now, let’s discuss a few follow-up thoughts I have after reading through the comments.
#1. Homophobia has no place in our pews
Simply stated, there is no room for homophobic propaganda in our churches. There is no space for homophobia in our congregations or small group sessions. When Jesus said, “Love everyone”, he meant everyone (no cherry picking allowed). With this simple truth as a guiding principle, I will never understand how homophobia fits into some church’s framework. To ensure we’re on the same wavelength, let’s define homophobia. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, homophobia is defined as “irrational fear of, aversion to, or discrimination against homosexuality or homosexuals.” In other words, any behavior that supports anti-gay prejudices or stereotypes and results in the displacement of beloved community members from church congregations based on their sexual orientation is homophobic in nature.
#2. “I love you but….”
Many times, I hear well-intentioned Christians assert that they can love people that identify as LGBTQ+ but do not agree with their choices. The entire sentiment has always sounded half-hearted to me. It’s like saying, “I love you but….”. As a cis-gender woman, I have never once feared the response of a family member upon admitting my heterosexuality. So when someone says, “I love the LGBTQ+ community but I don’t agree with their choices”, I’m left disappointed. If I read between the lines, I hear “I love you but what I want for myself and my family is not equal to what I want for you and your family”. The “I love you….” becomes a futile attempt to “keep the peace” before rushing into reasons for their disapproval.
#3. Why “accept & affirm” are not mutually exclusive
It is not enough that we accept the queer community into our congregations. We must also affirm them exactly as they are by creating churches that are both life-breathing and life-affirming. Merriam-Webster dictionary defines affirm as “state as a fact; assert strongly and publicly”. When we accept AND affirm our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters, we create space for them to show up as their full selves (something cis-gender individuals often take for granted). We not only accept who they are, we rejoice!
God created each of us uniquely in his image and to hide pieces of ourselves in order to fit in or gain acceptance would be a travesty. If our churches become safe spaces where all are welcome without fear of condemnation or conversion therapy, we may actually find that the House of God begins to reflect the glorious diversity that He originally intended.
On Love: To accept & affirm
I just cannot believe that God would ever approve of Christians’ prejudices towards the LGBTQ+ community. It leaves so many people displaced and left in the margins, forced to fend for basic human rights on their own. I won’t subscribe to the condemnation and exclusion. I open wide my arms because I know Jesus would too. “Love your neighbor as yourself” – without exception.
Note from the Author:
As a white, cis-gender woman with blonde hair and blue eyes, I am pretty much the farthest thing from diversity. For this reason, I tread carefully when speaking on such topics. Nonetheless, I find it increasingly important that I remain an active ally of the LGBTQ+ community especially as a Christian woman. The church can be so exclusionary to individuals that identify as LGBTQ+ displacing them from congregations and marginalizing their existence. However, what the church does and who God is are sometimes different. Over the last five years, I’ve started to pay attention to the incongruencies. Here is what I know – God loves you. Jesus is totally obsessed with your existence. Not one ounce of your core being needs to change. Christians, even well-intentioned ones, may have hurt you but please know that God and Jesus never will.