Recent Epiphanies
I’ve had some important realizations lately. Perhaps it’s quarantine or the lack of social interaction; however, lately, I find myself sitting deeply in my thoughts. Asking interesting questions. Pondering “what ifs” that seemed absurd several months prior. Normalcy, order, and certainty aren’t on the agenda. A global pandemic has invited my mind to explore beyond its regularly programmed routine.
#1. Words are my therapist.
It’s recently dawned on me that I feel the intense yearning to write when I’m trying to process. To me, writing feels like sitting in my therapist’s office. Blank pages provide space to get “it” off my chest. Revisions offer refuge – with each new edit, clarity comes. As I move from rough draft to rough draft, my thoughts transform from surface level observations to deep introspection. I write because it awakens the words in my heart. It’s a space for me to freely process what feels heavy or inspiring or uncertain. Writing manifests hard things on paper long before actually having to go out and do the hard things myself.
#2. We don’t all dream of being writers.
While filming an Instagram Live, author and activist Glennon Doyle answered one of her most asked questions: How do I know if I’m a writer? Her answer was simple and straightforward. The way to know you’re a writer by Glennon Doyle:
a. If you think you might be a writer.
b. If you wonder if you’re a writer (people who aren’t writers don’t wonder all day if they’re writers).
d. If you have that longing – the yearning – that’s your invitation.
You mean to tell me that everyone else’s brain isn’t constantly working to put into words how their heart feels? I thought we were all walking thesauruses, considering which words would pull best on the heart strings of our audience. I can’t imagine a world without writing….where else would my thoughts take refuge?
#3. God doesn’t give us the staircase. Sometimes, he doesn’t even give us a step.
Not knowing is the worst. Uncertainty sucks. Anxiety can feel debilitating. Lately, I’ve been asking God a lot of questions that involve the F word. Yes, that’s right…..the Future. For a college grad, the future already appears daunting. With a global pandemic added to the mix, it seems nearly impossible to navigate. I don’t have any revelatory insights to share with you on this topic; any such assertion would surely be speculation.
However, best-selling author and entrepreneur Ed Mylett says, “There is a direct correlation between the amount of uncertainty you can handle and how happy you are.” He’s right. I am learning that it’s best we don’t see the whole staircase. So many steps would appear overwhelming. Oftentimes, I lament over the anxiety attached to not knowing. In reality, knowing would likely evoke double the discomfort. I’m convinced that God gives us nearsightedness for a reason when it comes to the future.
All this to say, seek only to find your next right step, not the entire staircase. We’ll climb the unknown together.