I don’t ever want to stray so far from myself that I can’t find my own way home. This thought has echoed in my mind for weeks now. I look on social to find updates from friends and acquaintances announcing that they’re getting married, buying a home, being promoted, going back to school, moving in with their partner, or having children. All of these life events are wildly exciting yet it’s easy to compare my own experiences and see how they measure up. When comparison strikes, we must lock eyes with a future version of ourselves that we’re committed to pursuing with relentless abandon. There is no time for comparison when it comes to something as pressing as our one wild and precious life.
Different strokes for different folks
Throughout the Midwest, we have the saying, “Different strokes for different folks”. Essentially, it means that people have different needs and desires and therefore live in different ways. I suspect that this remark will ring especially true throughout my twenties as it is a decade of new and exciting adventures. Some of us will find a job and stay for the next ten years. Others may go back to school and get their Masters or PhD. You may decide to build a house, move across the country, learn a new language, marry a high school sweetheart, adopt a child, or volunteer with an NGO. Whatever path you pursue, it will be uniquely yours because life is not a one-size-fits-all subscription service.
“How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our life.”
– Annie Dillard
Let go of societal timelines
I think we’re too easily bound to societal norms for our lives. By societal standards, at the ripe age of 24 years old, I should be looking for love, considering home ownership, and imagining the names of my future children. While the traditional timeline is neither good nor bad, I worry that if we cling too intensely to it as our barometer for success, we guarantee our disappointment. Furthermore, we rob ourselves of any joy in the current moment. There is so much power in taking ownership of our lives and constructing a new timeline, one that is tailored specifically to our vision for the future.
Blaze your own trail
In case you’re like me and prefer to subscribe to a slightly less conventional timeline, consider these reminders as you blaze your own trail and discover hidden joys along the way. You are not too early or too late. You are neither “ahead of your time” nor falling behind. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Don’t rob yourself of the joy in this season. Resist the urge to compare your mile marker 100 to someone else’s. Don’t give up on the person you are becoming. Small steps turn into miles.
In the process of creating a life, I pray that we don’t forget to live; to smile when the sun shines; to laugh with loved ones; to walk barefoot; to look up from our devices; to embrace moments rather than watch them wither away. Our life is our best story – write well, edit often.