I remember sitting in a park around this time last year lamenting to my mom that my Spanish speaking skills weren’t where I wanted them to be, not to mention that I was consumed by fear and lacking any self-confidence. I insisted that I was willing to learn from my mistakes yet I was determined not to make any. As a result, my mouth remained sewn shut during dinners, casual meet-ups, or any instance in which Spanish was the primary language spoken.
A year later, I hardly recognize the girl being described. Now, I spend more time speaking in Spanish than I do English. I am – dare I say it – developing an accent!! I no longer enter conversations concerned about which language will be employed. Just like with any new thing, I have slowly found my footing.
Transitioning from Fulbright to NALCAP
Upon reflection, I recognize that a key moment in my transition from fear to self-confidence was when my Fulbright grant ended and I transferred into the North American Language & Culture (NALCAP) program. During my Fulbright grant, I developed close relationships with a handful of girls who were also placed in Vigo. We explored the city, went out together on weekends, and took trips to different parts of Spain – living much of our days in English.
They are amazing women and I can’t imagine my grant without them. However, when I chose to stay in Spain through the NALCAP program, many of my Fulbright friends returned home, deciding to pursue law school, Masters degrees, or continue teaching. While this shift may have caused some people to submerge deeper into the fear and uncertainty, I saw it as an opportunity. What remained was a blank page; one that beckoned a new beginning.
Employing the Spanish language more than my native tongue
I started by moving into a flat with three Spanish girls around my age. We spoke exclusively Spanish from morning to night and I learned everyday vocabulary like “escoba” and “lavavajilla”. The transition into 24/7 Spanish wasn’t easy but I attribute much of my language growth to this nose dive.
Additionally, I started dating my boyfriend, Luis, who is originally from Venezuela. His family (who now feels like an extension of my own) has offered me countless opportunities to prune my Spanish speaking skills. I continue to learn a myriad of colloquial Venezuelan words like vaina, pana, and parchita (and a laundry list of adjectives not appropriate for this blog).
Perhaps most surprising is how much Spanish I speak in my school as an English Assistant. I currently teach at a vocational school in Vigo and work primarily with adults. There are a wide range of English levels among both students and professors. As such, I have utilized my bilingualism more this year than in the past.
A life my younger self could be proud of
All of these small steps – along with countless others not mentioned here – created the life I have today. One that pushes me far beyond anywhere I would have labeled as my “comfort zone”. It forces me to look inward and demands stillness. It has caused me to relearn how I view friendships, rest, priorities, and alone time.
This life is one that my younger self starred at admiringly, never believing it could one day be hers. This life is one that I can be proud of.
